A Confession of Autonomy

I lose my temper because I want things to be better right away. I gaze with lustful eyes because I have forgotten how to love the ones I want to love. I hoard material possessions because I imagine they will help me love more fully. I turn a deaf ear, for I fear the pain of listening would kill me. I waste time, because I am not sure how to enter a living relationship. I even tolerate a society that murders, because I am convinced it is the best way to save more life. At the bottom of this behavior is something that was once holy. And during this rare time of holy communion and interaction with self, and light my personal and collective perversions creep out of the clear, begging to be healed, freed, and redeemed.

So when I pray I become more distracted by the bad that my unconscious has allowed to go unnoticed until the very moment that it needs to be released, in prayer. I take time to allow these things to surface so that i my tear them away from my spirit to be found holy and pure. I can empty myself out in prayer, completely open and vulnerable to God and to the ones of those who hear to be made pure for even an instant.

How I long to be pure and holy. I believe that is what we all long for to be found holy in the eyes of God. I believe that is why frustration and depression cloud my mind to delude the fact of my primal need and desire to be pure.

To be found in the presence of the almighty.

To "dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life and to gaze upon his beauty."

I long for eternity.

I long for that fruit that the cheribum with the fiery sword is guarding.

To be in the Garden, and to take from that tree of eternal life.

So that I can be forever in the presence of my Father.

The way is set, and the way is narrow.

The truth comes through one and by one.

That is Jesus Christ.

May Christ be our center that we view and see the beginning and the end through and in the eyes of Christ.

Reason-the end of the logos.

Reason is...

the human logos attempting to capture, control, and even manipulate the eternal Logos-Jesus Christ.

So it would be for our own benefit to never ask God,

"How?"

but only

"Who?"

The answer we know would be the same, Jesus.

But, it is the sincere desire for a journey to ask questions for we know the end,

getting there is the only dynamic, the only adventure.