[open my lips that my mouth may declare your praise]

"God is the ocean and we are the waves. In some sense each wave has its moment in which it is distinguishable as a somewhat seperate entity. Nevertheless, now wave is enitrely distinct from the ocean which is substantial ground. The waves are surface manifestations of the ocean. Our knowledge of the ocean is largely dependent on the way it manifests itself in the waves."

-Richard Rubenstein

Honor. Glory.

He was rejected by his nation, his hometown, his friends.

He was tempted by Satan.

He was ridiculed because of his hometown and his background.

He was accused of being demon possessed.

He was threatened by Herod (the ruler of the Judea), his hometown, the Jews, by the devil.

He was homeless.

He was betrayed by a follower and companion.

He was denied by his friend.

He was misunderstood by his disciples.

HE WAS FORSAKEN BY ALL.

He was misquoted.

He was tried ILLEGALLY seven times.

He was indicted by false charges.

He was mocked by Roman soldiers, by the watching crowd, by the chief priests.

He was tortured, slapped, blindfolded, spit upon, beaten, scourged, pierced with thorns, and hit over the head.

He was crucified.

The most comforting thing I've found in the incarnation is this: that God came into the world so that he could scream alongside with us.

We find honor in sharing the sufferings of the Christ.

We find Glory awaiting for us.

Yet we must expect nothing in something.

Present History

Each passing moment turns to history.

These moments that fall into a domino effect of events determines not only our own present situation but those of many others. We are held in responsibility for the stewardship of our time.

I was looking at the life of Jacob.

Jacob whenever he chose to be the deceiver changed his life farther and farther away from the place where God wanted him to be.

He eventually ended up running away from his Father, Brother, and even his Mother.

Leaving his entire past behind to pursue his own future, alone. He ended sleeping on a rock have an incredible dream of a ladder.

Woke up, realized God had been there all along and he decided to run away from God too.

His history determined his present to only know to run.

He didn't realize that these moments were history not just some ordinary moments that walk by slow enough to peer into and evaluate.

He was to be equivalent to his father and even his grandfather.

He was to carry the covenant and through him, all the nations would be blessed.

He kept running away from history.

We know that later, as a man, he came back and re-entered history. It took some effort wrestling with an "angel" can be tough, but he eventually would take his vacant seat as Israel.

It was a journey, but through that, History endured and how blessed we all are because of this.

Everything we do matters. Either human actions are connected to what happens in the universe, or they are not. And if everything is connected to everything else, then sooner or later everything matters; everything is potentially historic.

So I pray to learn that history is active in my life and all others. That I would realize that God is in this place, so I may know it. That he is active, constant, and loving.

A Confession of Autonomy

I lose my temper because I want things to be better right away. I gaze with lustful eyes because I have forgotten how to love the ones I want to love. I hoard material possessions because I imagine they will help me love more fully. I turn a deaf ear, for I fear the pain of listening would kill me. I waste time, because I am not sure how to enter a living relationship. I even tolerate a society that murders, because I am convinced it is the best way to save more life. At the bottom of this behavior is something that was once holy. And during this rare time of holy communion and interaction with self, and light my personal and collective perversions creep out of the clear, begging to be healed, freed, and redeemed.

So when I pray I become more distracted by the bad that my unconscious has allowed to go unnoticed until the very moment that it needs to be released, in prayer. I take time to allow these things to surface so that i my tear them away from my spirit to be found holy and pure. I can empty myself out in prayer, completely open and vulnerable to God and to the ones of those who hear to be made pure for even an instant.

How I long to be pure and holy. I believe that is what we all long for to be found holy in the eyes of God. I believe that is why frustration and depression cloud my mind to delude the fact of my primal need and desire to be pure.

To be found in the presence of the almighty.

To "dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life and to gaze upon his beauty."

I long for eternity.

I long for that fruit that the cheribum with the fiery sword is guarding.

To be in the Garden, and to take from that tree of eternal life.

So that I can be forever in the presence of my Father.

The way is set, and the way is narrow.

The truth comes through one and by one.

That is Jesus Christ.

May Christ be our center that we view and see the beginning and the end through and in the eyes of Christ.

Reason-the end of the logos.

Reason is...

the human logos attempting to capture, control, and even manipulate the eternal Logos-Jesus Christ.

So it would be for our own benefit to never ask God,

"How?"

but only

"Who?"

The answer we know would be the same, Jesus.

But, it is the sincere desire for a journey to ask questions for we know the end,

getting there is the only dynamic, the only adventure.